i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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