going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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