I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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