I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
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