$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I just found a bag of teeth...
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
