He asked me if I "almost moaned"
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
