I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Randomize