You're so nebulous sometimes
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
