Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
