at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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