dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Dicks are not precious.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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