Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
