Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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