Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
You can't just leave with hair like that
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
