'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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