His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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