She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
