i would punch a child for taco bell
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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