I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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