Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize