you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
