Grow some girl-balls and come out already
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize