Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
