Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
The uberlube is also flammable
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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