why didn't you poke me back
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
