Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
