ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
i think i scared a bird with my dick
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
