i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
