Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
