What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
