The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
MIDGETS
????
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
