Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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