i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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