I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
