How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
