All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
