How'd it feel making her break her religion?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I have aggressive nipples.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
