remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I just gift wrapped bread.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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