the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
