when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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