What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
