new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
