Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
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