Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
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