i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Randomize
