**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I think we might need a safe word for this...
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
