Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
