i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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