just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
