I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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