Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
you have to choose: penises or morals?
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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