...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Randomize
