youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
It's blow job season.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Randomize
