On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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