new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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