the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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