im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize
