Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
