I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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