During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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