It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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